Sing
by The Qilin
Summary: Dark. NSFW. A sort of Road/Lenalee. Oneshot. Complete. [Please read the warnings inside] "So what you're saying is, I'll leave your friends alone, and in return, I get to have a little more fun with you."


_Characters: Road/Lenalee_

_Warnings and Notes: Waxplay. Inappropriate use of ribbons. _

_Dubious consent and because of that, I want to say that I DO NOT condone this in real life. In real life, both parties must be consenting. In this case, it's canon that Road does things without people's consent. She stabbed Allen's eye out and dressed up Lenalee and made her a doll. She took Lavi's mind and messed with it. It's Road's personality and I have little say over it. I...wouldn't consider it rape, however. There are a lot of gray areas with what I wrote in this and I hope I have not offended anyone. _

_The last warning is __**a trigger warning for past self-harm**__. Again, I don't condone self-harm. Technically, I would not even classify this story as smut, but rather a serious fic dealing with delicate topics. Road/Lenalee is something I can never see as a "happy" pairing so I have tried to handle it to the best of my abilities. _

* * *

**Sing**

"I've seen you naked before."

That's not what this is about. She still keeps her eyes shut.

"Once."

Coolness is against her head, back, and nether regions. Her limbs are strapped down and her legs hang off whatever she is lying on.

"And I even gave you a dress. A very pretty dress. Did you not like it?"

Lenalee imagines her lips are glued together, stuck so that she cannot say a word. The less she says, the faster this ends, she hopes. Her Innocence is intact and her legs ache. They know a Noah is near. Her scars are telling her to activate. But she has to wait for a better opportunity.

She will endure the voice. She will endure Road. She will endure.

"Lenalee, I'll stab you in the eye like I did Allen if you don't look at me."

She opens them and makes sure hate spills out. Hate to match the giggling girl—no, not girl at all—who is standing over her. The room is the same room she has been kept in maybe a year ago, dark with old furniture and pictures, stuffed animals and giant presents, and pointed candles floating everywhere.

"Good girl." Road pats her cheek. "You're quite beautiful and I'd hate to see you disfigured more than you are already."

She keeps her eyes on Road's nose, anywhere except those yellow, feline eyes that see too much.

"Those scars on your ankles—did that come from your Innocence?" Her toes uncomfortable twitch as a finger traces one of the cross-shaped markings.

"How much did it hurt when it slashed you? How much blood did you lose?"

_None of your business_, she wants to say.

"Innocence asks so much of you Exorcists. Isn't it tiring? God, sitting there in heaven, looking down at his precious people dying left and right…"

But it isn't about God. It's about the people.

"And almost no one dies of old age. I wish I could tell you how many Exorcists I've killed, really. But I've lost count." Road studies her fingernails. "I haven't killed any recently."

_That's because you lost to Lavi._

"You're very quiet today, Lenalee. No tears to shed? No screams? Maybe I should've dragged someone else along." She slips her hands behind her back as she speaks. "I've already played with Allen and Bookman Junior. Not with…oh, who was that beautiful boy called…Kenda? Kan? Kanda?"

Lenalee tightens her hands into fists and breathes out enmity with every exhale.

"You're not fun at all on your own. I would do dress up, but this time you're actually conscious and it wouldn't work. Maybe I really ought to find someone else." Road taps her chin. "But who?"

The seconds tick slowly by.

"Didn't you have a brother?"

Her knuckles tighten. "No," she says tersely.

"I'm sure you did. He's important, isn't he? Like the head of something."

"You're not touching them."

"What makes you think I can't? So many of our abilities are so violent. But mine—" A hand presses over her head and she has to force herself to hold still. "Mine is more powerful than that. I could read your mind. I can make you think thoughts you didn't even know you had."

"I don't care what you do, so as long as it doesn't involve other people." She's had enough of that.

"Oh!" Road steps away and spins. "So what you're saying is, I'll leave your friends alone, and in return, I get to have a little more fun with you."

Your idea of fun is not my idea of fun. But aloud, she says "Yes." Even though it makes her stomach turn.

"Won~der~ful~"

"So as long as you don't kill me."

"Oh, I won't. Neither will I break your Innocence. Tyki already tried that with Allen and found it didn't work. But," The Noah licks her lip. "There are plenty of other things."

Her stomach twists as a ribbon winds over her mouth. More ribbons tangle over her arms and legs, and she finds herself entirely immobile. Only the thought of the cold-yet-hot crystals of her Innocence pressed to her skin keeps her from panicking. She has been tied down before. She has been restrained and silence before, as well. And she has lived.

Cold fingers pinch her breasts. She bites down on the fabric in her mouth, stoically determined not to make sounds. But she can't help the muscles that jump. Reflexes are reflexes.

Road seems to find this amusing and continues in the same teasing manner until her skin stings and is dotted with red marks. Uncomfortable twinges crawl toward her groin.

"It's too bad you couldn't hear Allen screaming when I took his eye out. He sounded like a girl. Although I'm sure you've heard him scream plenty of times."

She knows them far too well. Allen puts himself in the most dangerous of situations and pays dearly for them. His sounds of pain are raw and human and strike her heart painfully. She hates the sound of it.

But she hates the sounds of her own cries, and bites down still harder.

_Slap_. Nerves sting and complain as a hand slaps the skin of her stomach. She holds her breath and tightens her muscles. She's not sure what burns more; her embarrassment, her skin, or her Innocence. All three have the same thing in common: the color red. Red inside her body, red tinting her skin, red circling her feet. By the time Road steps back again, Lenalee is a field of red and heated skin..

It still doesn't hurt as bad as synchronization. White pain hurts more than red pain. Her pain levels she marks with colors, and right now it is simply red.

Her heart seems to stop when the Noah reaches for a candle. Is she going to be impaled, and if so where? But Road simply leverages it so that it hangs over her, and waits as the flame flickers.

It's when it starts dripping that she has a vague idea of what will be happening—

And white pain blossoms over her skin and crowds into her vision. She strains against silky ribbons and bloodies her lips as she bites down on them. She cranes her head to see pink splatters of wax cooling on herself. Her chest heaves as she breathes raggedly.

Road laughs in her ear as more drops splash down and spread over her sore skin. Over and over again until she is sure her hands are bleeding too from how tight she has been digging her nails into her palms. Blood drips down her mouth and she swallows the taste. Her body is awash in pink and white and the more it dries, the stiffer she is and the pricklier it feels. After this, she decides, she is never using candles.

"I wonder what will happen if I let it fall in your pretty eyes. You won't regenerate like Allen does. I'm sure of that."

Fingers pull one of her eyes open, and she stares into the point of the candle inches away from her.

Her pulse pounds in her ears.

She holds her breath as she watches a drop slide slowly, slowly down…

And then she cries out because Road moves it away and it splashes over a nipple instead. Her heart slows its thunderous rate only slightly as Road's shrill laughter fills her hearing.

"Be happy I like your eyes and you get to keep them, Lenalee."

It is in her mind to retort, but the thought of people keeps her from saying anything. Not that she can with her mouth gagged like this.

Road now drags the point of candle down from her throat to the top of her groin. She flinches from it and counts her breathes to make it hurt less. It's red pain and nothing she can't handle. It does hurt a little more when that point is applied to her thighs and digs into soft skin. It circles dangerously close to her groin and oh God she does not want to think about the worst of possibilities…

But it sidesteps her there and instead digs into her hip and she feels skin breaking.

"You're so silent."

She stares up at the darkness over her head.

"I wonder what it would take for you to scream. I know seeing other people in pain will do it, but what about _you?_"

The ribbon against her mouth is peeled away. Lenalee wipes her mouth on the side of her shoulder. "I don't scream for myself." Not if she can help it. She has been done with that for a while.

"Let's see…I'm sure you screamed when you first became an Exorcist. I could repeat those memories." Fingernails scratch her forehead as they run through her hair. "I could bring those all up for you to relive. But it may or may not work on you anymore."

No, she has kept them well-blocked out of her mind most of the time. Her future, not her past, is what keeps her going.

"You've thought of death. I could make you feel your death so many times until you want the actual death. No…actually," Those damn fingers run over her arms. "I know just the thing."

Her heart might've stopped for a millisecond, and Lenalee loses, briefly, her control. And by the grin on Road's face, she glimpsed it.

One of the very few things she is ashamed about in her past.

"Aren't you a naughty girl, Lenalee." Heat floods in her face and ears and travels everywhere else. This is something that she never brings up, never speaks off, and few people know off.

The candle slashes a thin line in her wrist and it is blue pain, the worst pain, that she experiences. Blue pain is sheer cold that travels in her veins and into her heart and pierces it like glass. Blue is like a parasite that digs in and must be burned out. She trembles and closes her eyes. Another slash is another stab to her heart, and Road's laughter hurts her head.

However, Lenalee does not expect the fingers that are pressed to her womanhood. Her Innocence now seems to truly burn, begging her to move. But she can't, not when sharpness is digging into her skin. She still has to wait.

"Poor Lenalee~" Road sings as she cuts more and continues to fondle where she is not supposed to. "Poor, poor Exorcist. You're too proud to call for anyone else to take your place."

Her eyes are shut so tight they hurt. And she is letting out strained cries only because it helps her breath. The combination of blue pain and awkward arousal sets her nerves on edge and making sounds eases it slightly.

"Are you a virgin? Maybe you are. Maybe you've dreamed of even Allen doing this." A finger dips into her and she finds herself whimpering. "And maybe you're not a virgin, and I'm the second person to make you sing."

Beneath closed eyelids, she can see colours exploding every time another old scar is reopened on her arms. She is damp and it feels near repulsive.

"If only they could see you like this. I wonder if it would turn them on. Would it make them want to come, seeing you at my mercy." Road's voice now sounds far away as blood loss is getting to her, as is the nearing of her inevitable climax. Her feet are stretching at the ribbons.

Pain, arousal, and anger. Lenalee stops biting her raw lips. She will begrudge every sound, but she has not cried yet. Not yet. Just a little longer.

Road's fingers push her to the edge, with one last stroke and a slice to wrists. Half-dizzy, she moans and shudders, head lolling.

With her eyes closed, she looks the appearance of defeat.

"Are you naughty or nice, Lenalee? Maybe you're both." The candle clatters to the ground, and those fingers leave her.

_Now_.

She breathes and ribbons snap and wither at the green glow. Her eyes open, her head and heart pound, and her limbs shake, but she can move again. Blood has made everything slippery and she frees herself hands quickly as she aims a kick at Road. It misses, but it puts distance between them.

Lenalee hovers and looks down at Road. Her vision is not the clearest, but she knows from experience there are worse things than blood loss. She lets hate guide her Innocence and it seeps in her skin.

She does not need saviors at all times.

"You're wrong about everything." Her voice is soft, to keep the pain out of it, but it still has bite. "And you don't understand a thing about me."

"Awww…" Road laces her fingers together as she pouts. "You Exorcists take everything too seriously. I was actually nice this time. No missing limbs or eyes. And I made you come. Isn't that nice?"

"It's just a reaction." Lenalee will let it bother her later. She will appear unaffected as long as she can.

"You're not as fun as Allen."

"Leave other people out of this."

"What I told you that I think you'll probably die alone, without other people?" A change of moods, just like that. "Helpless, desolate, and agonizingly slow?"

The light from her boots flare out. "It's none of your business how I die."

"How boring."

"If I'm so boring, send me back." Blood still drips from her wrists.

"Allen's still my favorite, but you're the most fascinating to play with." And Road is giggly again, all smiles and fake sunshine. "I'll find you another time."

Lenalee waits. Enough is enough and she refuses to reply anymore.

"Bye-bye, Lenalee~"

The walls collapse around her, and the last thing she hears is laughter echoing in years before it all turns black.

**_-|||:|||-_**

She never tells anyone what happens. Not even as when the nurses ask her about the stranger burns and the cuts. Let them talk. She says nothing to her brother. Not even when he takes her hands and holds them. Although she does break down and cry then, out of exhaustion and pent-up feelings of pain.

She can't tell, for fear of what they'd try to do. For fear they'd try to do reckless things in her name and oh no that's not what she wants to happen. They'd end up dead, or worse.

Kanda says nothing when she appears in his room and they sleep back-to-back in the same room; he knows enough to say nothing. Lavi seems to understand too, when she sits down next to him and asks him for sleep advice. Allen is the only one that is puzzled, but even he does not question her when she kisses him on the cheek.

Her world is intact. One day it'd break, but not that day and not today.

For she will do anything, even in silence, to hold it together.


End file.
